Most of my friends and family are bored with my stories of the happy three years I spent in Texas thirty years ago, and laugh at me when Americans visit and I get out my white stetson.
The many good friends I still have in Houston are kind, friendly and honest, all of them (the worst you could say about any of them is that most are very rich and often a bit LOUD). This, and my memories of the place, have made me forget that there are Texans who are quite different and much less agreeable, though happily not so many.
I came across the blog of one of these by chance the other day, and left a comment gently pointing out that he was not quite right to say that World War Two lasted less than four years; I had a surprising torrent of clumsy abuse in reply. I happened to be emailing my friend Barbara at the time so I sent her a copy and she has put it in her own blog. She also replied apologising on behalf of her ill-mannered countryman but of course it's not necessary: I know this was an aberration and there are very few like him in Texas.
In return Barbara sent me a copy of a piece of illiterate abuse she had received from a young Englishman who sees himself as a modern-day Crusader and writes reams of vicious stuff about Muslim drug-dealers who he says have ruined his life! I checked up on him recently and discovered that he is a religious nut as well as a bigot: as a final touch of lunacy he announces that Prince William is a descendant of King David and is the anointed one who will save the world from the AntiChrist or some such rubbish!
It takes all sorts, as they say. This exchange with Barbara shows that there are poisonous lunatics on both side of the Atlantic.
Hugh Whittingham-Bohun
10 comments:
Oh, Gramps, we're not bored by your stories about Texas and we really liked all those hunky Texans who used to come and stay. When I was about eleven I fell madly in love with one of them called Lee Budd or maybe Bud Lee. When he left he gave me a pair of silver boots which I still have!
I'm just laughing at the "worst you can say about them is they are loud" line.
That describes me and a good portion of the people that I know (I've lived in Houston my whole life).
Hello Kymberlie
Thank you for your kind comment. You don't look at all loud.
Apple martinis are new to me. They sound disgusting.
"gahhdayum yanks."
hey hugh! long time, no e. i'm a neighbour of yours now -- i no longer live in london but in deepest darkest hampshire.
it's kinda weird, they have trees and things.
in fact, i can see a tree from my window right now. if you can see one from yours, it's probably the same one and you should pop over for tea. i am the tea king, you know, and can offer you the tippest of tiptop tippetytop Finest Keemun, available only from the bins up the back of Twinings original old coadestone-fronted shop on The Strand. As far as I can tell, apart from the shop assistants I'm the only person who's aware of its existence, so god alone knows how they turn a profit out of it. But delicious it is, and possibly the best way to start the day without waking up next to Kylie Minogue that I know of, so I for one am glad of their fiscal irresponsibility.
Any tips for a bemused aussie on adapting to life in the English countryside? I don't have any relatives here so that rules out the incest, I'm afraid.
Hampshire? No no, my dear fellow, no-one of any importance has lived there since Jane Austen.
If you can't find a decent pad in Kent or Surrey, my advice to you is to go back to Moonie Ponds, after the election of course.
jane austen lived here? she used my name for her most famous character! thieving wench.
What? Your name is Lady Catherine de Burgh?
Emma Frayedsew
Such affability, such condescension in a person of rank I have never before encountered!
[some years later]
enough politesse. we want postage!!
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